xfirefly9x (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
xfirefly9x) wrote2013-07-09 12:50 am
xfirefly9x) wrote2013-07-09 12:50 am
Entry tags:
Fic: Never Will Be (Buffy/Angelus)
Title: Never Will Be
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Characters: Buffy/Angelus
Prompt: I'll break you any way I can
Word Count: 780
Rating: PG+ (dark!fic)
Summary: “I’ll break you,” he warns. It’s not like she doesn’t already know but it can’t help to tell her again.
Notes: Written on 6/2/12.
“I’ll break you,” he warns. It’s not like she doesn’t already know but it can’t help to tell her again. And again. And again. Even if every time he tells her, she refuses to listen.
“That’s a chance I’m willing to take,” she says simply. And with those words, the conversation is over and they start talking about happier things, things like going out to get ice cream and her falling asleep on top of homework yet another time.
The truth is, he’s worried. He has been worried since they first met, since he introduced himself to her. What concerns him most is that she refuses to pay attention. Whenever he breaches the topic, she brushes it off like he’s just saying words that hold no meaning or power over reality.
But the words he says are important. He tells her, always, that he’ll be there for her, but at the same time, he knows he can’t. It’s too dangerous. For her, for himself. He finds himself falling for him more and more with each moment they spend together. And that is not something either of them can afford, because it will end badly.
They can’t be together.
That is simple fact. He is a vampire. Immortal. She is human and a Slayer, and ignoring the fact that they should be mortal enemies, her calling may end her life sooner than she should leave the world.
And even if she survives being a Slayer, she will die of old age, in such a short amount of time that to spend it together… well. He’ll still look young when she’s old and wrinkly. She doesn’t deserve that. What she deserves is a chance to fall in love with someone – someone else, someone human – who will be there for her and will grow old with her.
He is not that someone and never will be.
So, he pushes harder. “I’ll break you in any way I can,” he tells her. “You’ll hurt. It isn’t worth it.”
“Don’t tell me what’s worth my time, Angel,” she says, and he feels a stab in the heart at the way she says his name. Like it means something to her. Like it matters. She’s already in deep, as deep as he is, and there is no way that this is going to end well.
He can hope, dream, pray, that things will work out, but he never did like to lie to himself. And he hates lying to her. So he tells it how it is, while she ignores the facts and continues to live in denial.
That’s how it continues on, until one day, when he decides. It’s time. Time to go. Time for him to move on. More importantly, time for her to move on. He’s not sure he can move on.
After the past few months, the hurt, the heartache, and some of it because of him, he has realized that they are stuck in a pattern that will never be fixed. There will always be pieces missing, or a piece that is far too big or shaped incorrectly to slot in. And forcing the pieces will not make it better.
If anything, his staying in Sunnydale will make things worse for her. It’s time for him to leave.
His heart aches at the thought of leaving her, but lately he has seen changes in her. She is growing. She is no longer a naïve school girl with super powers she doesn’t yet know what to do with. She is the Slayer now and she is becoming one of the most powerful and strong women that he has met.
There’s a confidence about her now that she didn’t have before. She was confident back then, sure, but this is different. This is confident on a whole new level. She is sliding into her own skin and doesn’t just fit but is killing it.
She’ll get over him. As much as it hurts him to think about, she will. He may not get over her, but he’ll live knowing he did the right thing. He won’t regret.
And so, after he’s made sure she’s okay, he slips away quietly into the night. The darkness surrounds him like a cloak. He disappears quickly into the shadows. For a moment, he remains there. He looks back out, at her looking for him.
There is pain in her eyes, in her stance, in everything she is. But he can tell she’ll be all right. Without him, she will more than just survive, she will thrive and become an even more amazing person and Slayer. Her life will be better.
And in time, he’ll just fade away.
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Characters: Buffy/Angelus
Prompt: I'll break you any way I can
Word Count: 780
Rating: PG+ (dark!fic)
Summary: “I’ll break you,” he warns. It’s not like she doesn’t already know but it can’t help to tell her again.
Notes: Written on 6/2/12.
“I’ll break you,” he warns. It’s not like she doesn’t already know but it can’t help to tell her again. And again. And again. Even if every time he tells her, she refuses to listen.
“That’s a chance I’m willing to take,” she says simply. And with those words, the conversation is over and they start talking about happier things, things like going out to get ice cream and her falling asleep on top of homework yet another time.
The truth is, he’s worried. He has been worried since they first met, since he introduced himself to her. What concerns him most is that she refuses to pay attention. Whenever he breaches the topic, she brushes it off like he’s just saying words that hold no meaning or power over reality.
But the words he says are important. He tells her, always, that he’ll be there for her, but at the same time, he knows he can’t. It’s too dangerous. For her, for himself. He finds himself falling for him more and more with each moment they spend together. And that is not something either of them can afford, because it will end badly.
They can’t be together.
That is simple fact. He is a vampire. Immortal. She is human and a Slayer, and ignoring the fact that they should be mortal enemies, her calling may end her life sooner than she should leave the world.
And even if she survives being a Slayer, she will die of old age, in such a short amount of time that to spend it together… well. He’ll still look young when she’s old and wrinkly. She doesn’t deserve that. What she deserves is a chance to fall in love with someone – someone else, someone human – who will be there for her and will grow old with her.
He is not that someone and never will be.
So, he pushes harder. “I’ll break you in any way I can,” he tells her. “You’ll hurt. It isn’t worth it.”
“Don’t tell me what’s worth my time, Angel,” she says, and he feels a stab in the heart at the way she says his name. Like it means something to her. Like it matters. She’s already in deep, as deep as he is, and there is no way that this is going to end well.
He can hope, dream, pray, that things will work out, but he never did like to lie to himself. And he hates lying to her. So he tells it how it is, while she ignores the facts and continues to live in denial.
That’s how it continues on, until one day, when he decides. It’s time. Time to go. Time for him to move on. More importantly, time for her to move on. He’s not sure he can move on.
After the past few months, the hurt, the heartache, and some of it because of him, he has realized that they are stuck in a pattern that will never be fixed. There will always be pieces missing, or a piece that is far too big or shaped incorrectly to slot in. And forcing the pieces will not make it better.
If anything, his staying in Sunnydale will make things worse for her. It’s time for him to leave.
His heart aches at the thought of leaving her, but lately he has seen changes in her. She is growing. She is no longer a naïve school girl with super powers she doesn’t yet know what to do with. She is the Slayer now and she is becoming one of the most powerful and strong women that he has met.
There’s a confidence about her now that she didn’t have before. She was confident back then, sure, but this is different. This is confident on a whole new level. She is sliding into her own skin and doesn’t just fit but is killing it.
She’ll get over him. As much as it hurts him to think about, she will. He may not get over her, but he’ll live knowing he did the right thing. He won’t regret.
And so, after he’s made sure she’s okay, he slips away quietly into the night. The darkness surrounds him like a cloak. He disappears quickly into the shadows. For a moment, he remains there. He looks back out, at her looking for him.
There is pain in her eyes, in her stance, in everything she is. But he can tell she’ll be all right. Without him, she will more than just survive, she will thrive and become an even more amazing person and Slayer. Her life will be better.
And in time, he’ll just fade away.