#000 Inner Dialogue (Nathan/Morena RPF)

[xfirefly9x]

Title: Inner Dialogue
Fandom: Firefly
Characters: Nathan/Morena RPF
Word Count: 177
Rating: PG
Summary: I love him. I hate him. I love him. I hate him.
Notes: RPF. Don’t read if it’s not your thing. Inspired by an interview Nathan and Morena did for Serenity.

I love him. I hate him. I love him. I hate him.

Your mind is in turmoil with itself as you repeat it to yourself.

I love him. I hate him. I love him. I hate him.

You think back to when Joss told you to keep those words in mind – Inara’s inner dialogue – while you act out the scene you’re about to shoot.

It’s hard.

In fact, it’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do: on the Serenity set, on the older Firefly set back a few years and in life in general.

You know that only half of the words are true (it’s definitely not the “I hate you” part) and you hate to lie, especially when it’s to yourself.

That in itself is a contradiction.

You’ve been lying to yourself about your feelings since Day 1.

You take a deep breath and push away all that is left of Morena so that Inara can take her place.

You find it ironic that even once that is done, you feel the exact same way.