"...i'll keep you my dirty little secret..."

[xfirefly9x]

ANONYMOUS SECRET MEME!

Got something you need to admit to the internets in secret? Leave an anonymous comment here. Tell me a secret! Or something gross you wouldn't share with anyone else. Got a crush? Admit it here. You know you want to. Get it off your chest.

A few rules:

1) Secrets must be anonymous. Responses to secrets can be under your LJ name or anonymous.
2) You may respond to people's secrets, but no wank (i.e., "You're fucking sick in the head" or "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard").
3) No specific personal attacks on people OR characters.
4) Fandom opinions are accepted, but try to limit it, everyone already did that meme.
4) Anonymous commenting is on, IP tracking is off. I think.

How to leave an anonymous comment:

Write your comment the way you always do, but before posting it, use the more options button and then pick anonymous above the comment box. Then post the comment, and you're done. And now, spill your little fangirl/guy guts about anything and everything. Nobody knows who you are, so what do you have to lose?

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I say stupid things sometimes just to get a reaction.

[(Anonymous)]

I do this too.

[(Anonymous)]

I have a couple, actually.

I really like this guy I just met but I know nothing will happen because everyone automatically labels me as off limits because I'm 20.

I'm supposed to be funny but I'm not. I tell everyone I'm confident in my ability to become a famous comedian but I'm not. I suck.

[(Anonymous)]

I've been feeling depressed lately, but I don't have anyone I can talk to about it. I'm not afraid of people knowing how I feel or trying to help me, only that they'll think I'm saying it for attention. I'm not. And I don't know what to do.

[cutehands.livejournal.com]

My heart goes out to you. I've been in that situation. Those who really matter wont think any less of you, but not everyone understands, or wants to understand depression/mental illness, and these are the people who will think it is all attention seeking. It is not. It is real.

I have leant to be open and honest about my depression. I make no secret of it (hence the non-anonymous post here). Those who treat me differently because of it aren't worthy of my friendship. PM me if you want to/need to talk to someone :)

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you for your reply.

I'm going to PM you now.

[(Anonymous)]

Some days all I want to do is leave. Pack a box of clothes and books and find the fastest way out of here and never look back. Go somewhere I've never been, do something I've never done.

[(Anonymous)]

I have thought about doing the same many times. What keeps me from going ahead with it is uni and the fear that I'll do it only to find out nothing has changed except the location and faces.

[(Anonymous)]

It would have changed - my dad wouldn't be there. But then my sister and mom wouldn't be there either and I wouldn't want to leave them like that.
Sometimes I'm worried I'll turn out like him and I think that kind of scares me. But what scares me worst is the thought that I'll never get out of this town.

[(Anonymous)]

It may have changed in that sense but the memories stay. If the situation is bad enough you should put yourself first. You can always visit your sister and mom.

I have that same fear but of turning into my mom. I suppose it's just something we all face. We can only do our best to become who we want to be and not those who we fear turning out like.

Use the fear. That is the best advice I can offer. Use the fear as incentive to get out.

Erm.. and you know who I am now. Oops?

[(Anonymous)]

Memories fade. And having bad memories isn't nearly as bad as staying. So I have a plan. A few more years and I'm out of here, and so is my sister. My mom won't actually leave. She keeps thinking he'll "get better". (That's what she always says.) (I wish she was happier.)

[belle-daae.livejournal.com]

I hear that, many times when I'm either sick with how monotonous life is or feeling immense pressure all I want to do is pack up, hop on a plane to Europe or some place exotic, or go on a crazy road trip.
But life and its commitments always holds me back.

[(Anonymous)]

I secretly wish people had zero expectations of me, that they stopped thinking so highly of me so that it doesn't hurt so much when I feel like I can't or when I do anything even close to wrong. I smile when I get the pats in the back and I even pretend to genuinely like them, but in reality, it hurts, because the more they expect from me, the more I find that I can't always deliver, and I hate that feeling.

[(Anonymous)]

I will pick the day I die. It is not today.

[(Anonymous)]

This.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm a cutter, and no one gets it. I DON'T WANT TO KILL MYSELF, seriously, I cut myself (haven't for about a year) - there's a BIG difference.

[(Anonymous)]

Theres a huge difference and people who don't get it never will.

Congrats on being clean for a year, i've been clean for around four months.

[(Anonymous)]

Then I offer my congratulations. The first few months were probably the worst, because it was always in the back of my mind... shall I shan't I?!

But if you've got this far, keep going. I'm rooting for ya!

[(Anonymous)]

I met a boy online and we've been chatting a bit. We really hit it off--like really really and were thinking of having a date some time next week--and then he blocked me. No rhyme or reason or anything.

It upset me more than I thought it would.

[(Anonymous)]

I've been in that situation before - but in my case I was the one doing the blocking. It was out of fear. I also bore easily.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm actually a guy. I've never explicitly lied on LJ and said I was a girl, but it's just been assumed due to the majority of LJers being girls.
Now I'm worried that my friends will think badly of me if I say that I'm a boy. Just because I am, doesn't mean I can't fangirl like the best of them!

[xfirefly9x.livejournal.com]

Truuue. Well. I wouldn't think badly of you if you were to "come out". Boys have the right to fangirl/guy as much as the rest of us. ;)

[(Anonymous)]

Despite the fact that nerds are indisputably awesome, I always find myself trying to hide my intelligence from others at my school. I don't know how not to do it. It feels unfair that I have to do it in the first place.

[lcuddywannabe.livejournal.com]

I used to do this as well. Then I just gave up on my intelligence all together. Doing that is a bad way to go. Just be yourself and your real friends will be there for you. I promise.

[(Anonymous)]

I hate my best friend's boyfriend, and when she told me they got engaged yesterday, I almost burst into tears. I'm really afraid that this will be the end of our friendship. He's an emotionally abusive bastard, and he hates me, and constantly tries to come between us. It just feels like he sucks the life out of her, and out of the things she loves to do. I hate myself for it, but I want them to break up before the wedding, and before she makes what I think is the biggest mistake of her life.

[(Anonymous)]

*hug*

Unfortunately she's gonna have to make the mistake (if it turns out to be one - and it probably will, sorry) for herself. I'm praying she sees the light before the wedding, but emotional abuse is a tough one to spot when you're the abused. :(

[(Anonymous)]

He's an emotionally abusive bastard, and he hates me, and constantly tries to come between us.

He probably tries to come between her and everyone, because that's what abusive bastards do. I suspect the best thing you can do for her is to prevent that from happening as much as possible, so that she has someone to turn to if she decides to leave.

(Have you tried asking her, gently and non-judgmentally, whether she's happy? Or pointing out ways she seems less happy than she was before she started dating him, while focusing on her rather than him? It probably won't work, but you never know.)

[(Anonymous)]

Fuck the world. Who needs real life when there's LJ?

[(Anonymous)]

I think I was sexually abused by my mother's ex-boyfriend's son when I was about 12.

[(Anonymous)]

The thought of posting fic actually freaks me out enough to forget what I was writing. Which is strange, because I've always had good responses to what I've written, never gotten a flame or anything.

Also? Having things beta read scares the crap out of me.

[(Anonymous)]

Also? Having things beta read scares the crap out of me.

Me too. Even though I've never had a bad experience with it. (Probably also why it's taking me forever and a day to get the next chapter of my thesis written.)

[(Anonymous)]

I often get so scared and angry and depresed that I can't breathe. I worry and second guess everything and I can't talk to anyone because I know that they will simply dismiss my issues as trivial.

[(Anonymous)]

My mother vocally abused me since I was a child, causeing me to withdraw into myself and not trust myself. I was never able to tell people because my mom was was a staple of the community and she only hit me once or twice so I was simplely a kid who was yelled at alot.

[(Anonymous)]

I have commitment issues--major ones. I always go for the guys/and girls who I know will end up either leaving me, never be able to handle a monogamous relationship or are just plain off limits for one reason or another just to avoid committing to anyone.

I'm afraid of being trapped--in every sense of the word.

And I desperately want to move on in my life (going back to school being the major one) but I feel like I'm stuck in one place and no matter how hard I try to dig myself out of the hole I'm in someone is always waiting up top to shove me back down.

[(Anonymous)]

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years now, and since leaving highschool he's just gone into a downward spiral of achieving absolutely nothing---dropping out of uni, lying around his parents house in his underwear and staying in a lame job that pays him minimum wage (and he's in his 20s).
I've been supporting him (financially and emotionally), but I can't take it anymore! At times I wonder if I could be doing better (which is horrible), but I've had it ingrained in my head that he's the catch between the two of us (thanks to our "friends" in hs).

[(Anonymous)]

I hate that my parents have such high expectations of me. I'm the first in my family ever to go to college and everyone expects me to get a boring graduate position when I'm done and earn lots of money and trade away all my creativity for some model version of a 'perfect' life. It's not who I want to be at all but I feel so pressured to make the family happy that I keep applying for the jobs they expect me to. I wish I had the courage to tell them how I really feel.